Coping with Loss

When coping with loss, there is no one size fits all, as far as grieving is concerned. There is no wrong way to grieve, as we are all so different, and we all handle grief, and traumatic situations so different. It is definitely very individual. As I mentioned in a previous post, I never thought I would experience loss, until I did. I went on to have 5 traumatic losses before I was blessed with my rainbow baby.

With each loss, I handled it different. Some people need time to heal, and that may take years, for some, they heal by jumping back into another pregnancy. That was me. I felt incomplete in a sense, as if a pregnancy would help me cope with my loss. Some would argue that feeling like that is unhealthy, but to me, it was healing. In order to heal, I needed to move on, and start another pregnancy as soon as I could. I know I could NEVER replace the baby I lost during each loss, but, I would sit and dwell, and be depressed, and sad. Even though my pregnancies were full of anxiety, each and every day I was anxious, it was better than dwelling on a loss, FOR ME!

If I could give a woman some words on grieving a loss, I would say, do you. Take each day as they come, it is okay to cry, to have an emotional outburst (God only knows I had plenty), and grieve how you grieve best. I would also say it is important to NOT blame yourself, or feel guilty. I went through that, which I am sure is normal, but ultimately, it did not help me with grieving, and it only made things worse, as far as being depressed. I spent countless hours researching, which did help me, but when I started to put blame on the ibuprofen I took, or not being able to take my prenatal vitamins, to drinking too much coffee…. the list goes on! Fact is, most losses are unexplained, and it is likely that you did NOTHING to contribute to your loss.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can reach out to me. It can be helpful to talk to other women who have experienced a loss, or multiple losses, I Know it was for me.

((((HUGS))))

Dee